Now I understand

Much as some of us fight it, our parents have a mystical hold over us, the power to affect our thoughts and emotions the way only they can. It's a bond that changes over time, but doesn't diminish, even if they're half a world away, or in another world entirely.
It's a power we never fully understand. We're left only to wonder that when our time comes, what kind of hold will we have on our children?

Guess so

Sometimes when you're young, you think nothing can hurt you, it's like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you and you have big plans. Big plans to find your perfect match... the one that completes you... But as you get older, you realize its not always that easy. It's not until the end of your life that you realize that the plans you made were simply plans... because at the end when you're looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you're leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.

Albert Camus once wrote,

"Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken." But I wonder if there's no breaking then there's no healing, and if there's no healing then there's no learning. And if there's no learning then there's no struggle. But struggle is a part of life. So must all hearts be broken?"

it's 12 o'clock inside my head

I have a headache in my chest, caffeine and aspirin take me away.

William James, The Principles of Psychology (Boston, 1890):

If no one turned around when we entered, answered when we spoke, or minded what we did, but if every person we met "cut us dead", and acted as if we were non-existent things, a kind of rage and impotent despair would before long well up in us, from which the cruellest bodily torture would be a relief!"

People always leave... or I leave them first, like a blind shot

hundred and fifteen pounds and a little bit more than five feet long, but yes I'm gonna be able to handle this, as I always did.

not ever, body.

Everybody run, Everybody knows, Everybody rolls; Everybody skips; Everybody choose; Everybody sticks and Everybody lose; Everybody is jealous; Everybody is anxious; Everybody forgets; Everybody is famous, Everybody waste; Everybody is gorgeous; Everybody is blind; Everybody could be dying. Everybody is fun.
Is this the mirror of myself? Am I somebody else?
I don't wanna be, EVERYBODY!
[Ministry of Sound]